“The great thing is to be found at one’s post as a child of God, living each day as though it were our last, but planning as though our world might last a hundred years.” C.S. Lewis
It is harder than ever to imagine what future looks like for our family. Thankfully, we do not have to fear the unknown as God states in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Although the day-to-day progress isn’t as noticeable anymore, we are grateful to report that Nathan’s recovery continues! Nathan was dismissed from physical therapy last fall, but has recently been seeing the physical therapist again to help fine tune his walking and ability to get around on unstable ground (getting around in the woods, hiking, walking in snow, etc…). We’ve stated before that Nathan’s therapists are fantastic and so creative. They continue to exceed our expectations and have even become an important part of our family!
Nathan continues to see the speech and occupational therapists three times a week since February 2012. That’s about 68 weeks of therapy, 204 trips to therapy, approximately 612 hours of therapy (not counting all the work from home), 13,872 miles back and forth from therapy! Much of the range-of-motion in Nathan’s right shoulder and forearm have come back, but he still does not have very much strength or use of his fingers. There is movement, he can squeeze and pinch a little, but it’s very difficult to release due to the “tone” in his fingers/hand and arm. He also has this tone in his toes/foot/ankle and has to be careful when walking as his foot tends to turn and he could twist his ankle fairly easily. Although the progress is in small increments, it DOES continue, which is why he is able to remain in therapy.
Nathan has difficulty with Apraxia and Aphasia, both are common after a stroke. He knows exactly what he wants to say, but struggles with finding the right words and/or getting the words from his mind to off the tip of his tongue. We are finding more and more that many people aren’t sure what to expect when they try to talk with Nathan (does he remember you, will he understand you, will it frustrate him to try to talk with you?) I thought it might be helpful to list some information that was shared with us on interacting with those recovering from a stroke. I have included this at the end of this post – it came from “My Stroke of Insight” by Jill Bolte Taylor.
Although Nathan has not worked full-time for Word of Life since December 12, 2011, he has been working hard at regaining and rediscovering many things, especially his technical skills. When not at therapy (and not working in the yard, on the house or with the kids), he seeks to stay busy with working on websites and database material. Nathan has put together two non-profit websites, one for a girl’s/women’s crisis center in Alaska (hannahsplaceince.com) and also for the Christian Academy where our two oldest children attend. (mountainsidechristianacademy.com – still somewhat under construction). We are grateful for friends/co-workers who are helping by providing relevant information for speech therapy to assist in Nathan’s recovery. As you can imagine, it has been very difficult for Nathan, who was energized by the constant action and service of working for Word of Life (he was truly passionate about his involvement) and now, to be forced to slow down and mainly focus on his very slow recovery. We continue to pray that we may remain in full-time ministry but plead for the Lord’s patience and understanding with this process while seeking to please God as we wait, grow, watch.
This passage continues to work back into my life as I strive to understand what God is doing and is going to do in and through Nathan and our family, “Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked, “Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?” Jesus said, “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do.” – John 9:1-3
Recommendations for Recovery: by Jill Bolte Taylor (taken from her book, My Stroke of Insight)
We didn’t agree with all of these, I even deleted a few. Some of these may have been more appropriate earlier on in Nathan’s recovery, but for the most part, these should be helpful to keep in mind when interacting with Nathan or any individual recovering from a stroke.
1. I am not stupid, I am wounded. Please respect me.
2. Come close, speak slowly, and enunciate clearly.
3. Repeat yourself—assume I know nothing and start from the beginning, over and over.
4. Be as patient with me the 20th time you teach me something, as you were the first.
5. Approach me with an open heart and slow your energy down. Take your time.
6. Be aware of what your body language and facial expressions are communicating to me.
7. Make eye contact with me. I am in here—come find me. Encourage me.
8. Please don’t raise your voice—I’m not deaf, I’m wounded.
9. Touch me appropriately and connect with me.
10. Honor the healing power of sleep.
11. Protect my energy.
12. Stimulate my brain when I have any energy to learn something new, but know that a small amount may wear me out quickly.
13. Use age-appropriate educational material and books to teach me
14. Introduce me to the world kinesthetically. Let me feel everything.
15. Teach me by allowing me to watch you do
16. Trust that I am trying—just not with your skill level or on your schedule.
17. Ask me multiple-choice questions. Avoid Yes/No questions.
18. Ask me questions with specific answers. Allow me time to hunt for an answer.
19. Do not assess my cognitive ability by how fast I can think.
20. Speak to me directly, not about me to others.
21. Cheer me on. Expect me to recover completely, even if it takes twenty years!
22. Trust that my brain can always continue to learn.
23. Break all actions down into smaller steps of action.
24. Look for what obstacles prevent me from succeeding on a task.
25. Clarify for me what the next level or step is so I know what I am working toward.
26. Remember that I have to be proficient at one level of function before I can move on to the next level.
27. Celebrate all of my little successes. They inspire me.
28. Please don’t finish my sentences for me or fill in words I can’t find. I need to work my brain.
29. If I can’t find an old file, make it a point to create a new one.
30. I may want you to think I understand more than I really do.
31. Focus on what I can do rather than bemoan what I cannot do.
32. Introduce me to my old life. Don’t assume that because I cannot play like I used to play that I won’t continue to enjoy music or an instrument, etc.
33. Remember that in the absence of some functions, I have gained other abilities.
34. Keep me familiar with my family, friends, and loving support. Build a collage wall of cards and photos that I can see. Label them so I can review them.
35. Love me for who I am today. Don’t hold me to being the person I was before. I have a different brain now.
36. Be protective of me but do not stand in the way of my progress.
37. Show me old video footage of me doing things to remind me about how I spoke, walked, and gestured.
38. Remember that my medications probably make me feel tired, as well as mask my ability to know what it feels like to be me.
Praises
- We are so pleased to share that Nathan is reading again! It (as everything with this process) continues to be very slow, but we are finally seeing results after thousands and thousands of repetitions! Thank you for continuing to pray with us in this area!
- Nathan seems to have fully recovered from his emergency surgery/ruptured appendicitis last fall! He has regained strength and momentum in his recovery!
- Our family is so grateful for the continued prayers, help and even financial support of so many concerned friends! Thank you!
- Nathan and I are so proud of our two oldest children, Gavin and Carly as they finish up school this year. Gavin will be going into 2nd grade and Carly into Kindergarten. They are such great kids and have been such troopers through their experience with their Daddy’s stroke. They work with him on his reading and speaking and continue to be so helpful and loving towards him! They are such great examples for their two younger brothers!
Please Pray With Us
- That we would be sensitive and usable in the new sphere of influence God has placed us in, as we seek to be an encouragement to Nathan’s therapists, other staff and those also recovering from strokes in the support group we are involved in.
- For wisdom and discernment as we seek to live, love life and be involved vs. therapy, home-therapy, praying/expecting recovery. Although we are told Nathan is STILL early on in recovery, he is restless and eager to work, be involved, feeling as though he is contributing to supporting his family.
- For continued recover in speech and Nathan’s right side. He is walking pretty well and can compensate well with his left hand, but we so desire for him to use his right hand again – praying for another miracle!
- Nathan does continue to experience seizures. They are mild – thank You Lord! But they do continue and this is difficult logistically with the four children and driving, etc… every time Nathan has a seizure he has to wait at least 6 months until he can begin the process to be able to drive again. We will see a new neurologist in July to explore possibly changing up medications, but we are thankful that the seizures are mild (so mild that the specialists have not been able to categorize them!) Nathan can even see and hear during a seizure. There is a sensitive balance here with seeking a medication that will not alter Nathan, but will help prevent the seizures.
- We are excited to be flying to Wrangell, Alaska for the month of June to spend some much needed time with Nathan’s family! The last time we attempted a family trip it was not at all vacation-like with Nathan’s emergency surgery and nine days in the hospital in South Carolina! This time it will be Nathan and I flying across the country with all four kiddos! Please pray for no seizures or any other issues!
- In light of the continued travel due to therapy, we are starting to think about and save for a new vehicle. Our van has miraculously done very well this past year and a half with only minor issues, but is starting to reveal the wear on it. Please pray for wisdom as we work through the process of seeking/purchasing something new.
