Recently I traveled to Hawaii as a speaker for a camp there. To my wonder and amazement I found out that all the rumors about people in Hawaii loving SPAM are absolutely true. Weird. Of course, I’m not referring to malicious email in your inbox. I’m referring to that squishy, slippery form of gelatinous canned meat that legends(and t-shirts) are made of. In Hawaii there’s like whole aisles in grocery stores devoted to SPAM. Bacon flavored SPAM, nacho cheese flavored SPAM, tator-tot flavored SPAM. OK, maybe I’m given to slight hyperbole, but it really was crazy. I know I was supposed to be focused, but I couldn’t resist thinking about all the ways I could use SPAM. I know it’s stupid, but….here’s my top 10.
10. SPAM Dodge Ball (without the can of course)
9. Throw an open can under my brother’s car seat.
8. Stockpile in case of earthquake, tornado, tsunami, or terrorist attack.
7. Use in place of Clay Pigeons at the shotgun range.
6. SPAM Tacos (in place of chicken, beef or fish)
5. SPAM Sushi (speaking of fish)
4. Build a SPAM wall fence around my garden to keep deer, rabbit and every other living creature miles away.
3. In place of an apple in that game where you pass an apple from chin to chin in a relay.
2. SPAM carving (best sculpture wins)
1. SPAM House – instead of a coffee house for your next evangelistic event, have SPAM house. Serve it every way imaginable. Grilled, with eggs, on a bun, as a steak, breaded and deep fried…. Whatever.
So what did I miss?
